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Worshipping the Absurd Since 1993!!


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                      |      Cool Beans!  #1      ~\ 
                      |      Interviews with     |\  \ 
                      | Sebadoh   Aaron Cometbus | )  )
                      | Jesus Lizard   Helmet..  |/  /
                      | Reviews  Comics  Neat Stuff!/
                       \      Coffee Issue       /~~
                        \   www.coolbeans.com   /
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                         ..music nerd central..                        |_/\
"On the application for the food co-op I filled out there was a question
that asked, 'what is your favorite food and why?"  I was really tempted to
answer 'coffee and beer because that's all a person really needs to survive.
Kick it!'" -Blake
Cool Beans! #1 Table of Contents - The Coffee Issue
Sebadoh Interview
Sebadoh Discography
Me As TV by Bill Brown
Helmet Interview
Penis Poetry by Kevin
Joe Popperazzi by Blake and Wini
Coffee by Matt
Jesus Lizard Interview
More Coffee by Matt
Popcorn by Matt
Aaron Cometbus Interview
Coffee is a Psychedelic Drug
Interview with Poindexter Fortran avid coffee fan
Fun with Bill Al and Me by Bill Brown
Reviews of Stuff
Well, I'm finally finishing up Cool Beans! #1.  Thanks for picking it up
or buying it from me or whatever.
Many Many thanks to: Billy, Blake, Bert, Mike, Mike, Aaron, Page, Kurt, Lou,
Reed, & Paul.  Heaps of love, Matt
Cool Beans! Soundtrack:
          Slint: Tweez
          Bob Mould: Black Sheets of Rain
          David Allan Coe: 17 Greatest Hits
          Sebadoh: All of it
          Food: Demo cassette
          KALX 90.7 FM Berkeley
Cult of the Dead Cow and MMoT 
                        Sebadoh Interview: March 3, 1992
                                                         by Matt Kelly and
                                                         Blake Wotherspoon
                      >>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
                        -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
 ____       _     ____       _       ____       _     ____       _       ___
     We sent Lou a mail interview on August 5, 1991.  He wrote back about two
weeks later answering most of the questions.
Lou: How many interviews??  Some, not a lot... I'm at a loss for an actual # 
at this point... I turn down no one.
Lou: No Meaning to Sebadoh... I started playing music with Eric in 1986; off 
+ on (mostly off) since then.
Lou: Superchunk covered Sebadoh, I reckon that's like 10,000 Maniacs...I'm
flattered, 10,000 Maniacs would put me in a coma.
Lou: There are 500 copies of "Asshole" by the way = carpentry is a miracle = 
I have no conception =
Lou: Barry Hensler?? nope, no dirt... the Necros - Big Chief annoy me 
greatly, strut rock garbage
LOU: "I Believe in Fate" features Traci, yes indeed!! good call.
Lou: Sub pop?? we're way above/below that shit right now, I doubt anyone 
there cares.
Lou: SLINT is THE greatest band in the world though I've barely met anyone 
who agrees... reviews I've seen act like it's one dimensional bummer-rock 
"good for late nights" Fools, all of those who miss the power of SLINT.  
those bands (in no particular order)
Lou: My Bloody Valentine... I really liked "Isn't Anything" really loved the
"You Made Me Realize" 12"...I bought the Tremelo ep recently but seems like
they've run drastically short of ideas beyond the MBV "atmosphere"...have you
heard the slew of imitators?? Smashing Orange, Slowdive, the Lily's,
Nightblooms, Black Tamborine, Velocity Girl??  I like RIDE a lot though A Lot
of their tunes suck, (the good ones rock)
Lou: Sebadoh III is out, I will personally hunt and KILL all those that call 
it "a mixed bag" or "too ambitious", I will TORTURE all those that say "I 
really like the first song best"...it's release is our test of humanity, an
examination of not of our "songwriting talents" but the listener's capacity 
for feeling + emotion.... unfortunately I'm serious, I'm sure Sebadoh III 
will fall upon many a deaf ear it is a lot to digest and i doubt anyone has 
the time and judging from what passes for new, revolutionary, mind expanding 
indie-rock (PAVEMENT-LOVE CHILD-SWERVEDRIVER) we're nowhere.  But you've 
caught me at a bad time, I'm in-between Sebadoh tours (we toured for 2 1/2 
weeks April-May, Eric ditched us 2 weeks prior, Jason (new member) + I did 
it alone, semi-acoustic QUIET...'twas fun) Eric might've ditched Sebadoh 
all-together, nothing other than SLINT seems remotely alive and relevant to 
my life music-wise.  Actually, I'm fucking LUCKY... Sebadoh is all I could 
want it to be, my girlfriend supports me, I have no debilitating diseases... 
Sebadoh will always have people ready to release our music to me at no cost 
to yours truly... what the fuck am I bitching about?  If you like III tell 
me so, if not keep it to yourself... I cannot rationally handle the criticism 
until I'm working on the Next Sebadoh record, right now III is my life and I 
will only react with pathetic self-protecting snide comments... oh fuckin' 
well. (maybe not revolutionary I exaggerate when I PR..
Lou: Bass tips?? fat strings, between 1 and 6 of them.
     The rest of this interview was done in person on March 3, 1992 by Blake
and I.  The show was at a club in Louisville and before it started we were 
all hanging out in the parking lot waiting for the first band to go on.  As 
we were waiting, a young woman tried to sell us some helium balloons so she 
could get into the show.  Lou bought one of her balloons.  What a nice guy.
     Before the show, Blake and I engaged Lou in some slagging of J. Mascis,
the guitar player for Dinosaur Jr.  Lou told us he actually considered going 
to see Dinosaur Jr. this tour which he hasn't done since he's been out of the
band.  He told us he also wanted to see My Bloody Valentine who were opening
up.  We joked about how J. was becoming a guitar legend and would soon be 
even more like Neil Young.  An image of J. lining a small lake with speakers 
and then rowing out to the middle to listen to the music evolved and Lou 
chimed in with something about how J. would probably just put in a big long 
dock and walk up and down it playing guitar.  Then Lou told us that J. had 
just recently started smoking pot and that he has a spiritual herb vibe 
     The show was fantastic and, according to the band, was the longest set
they've ever played.  Towards the end, Bob (the current drummer) left the 
stage and Jason took over on drums while Lou played Jason's bass.  After an 
amazing 15 minutes of jamming, Jon Cook of Crain came onstage and jammed on 
guitar while someone I don't know took the mike and improvised vocals.  All 
the while the TV over in the corner was showing the Muhammed Ali 50th 
Birthday TV special which really gave the scene a strange feel.
We met Lou outside afterward and interviewed him.
Lou: So what are your questions?  Ask the first thing off the top of your 
CB!: On the Weed Forestin thing that you did, there's some stuff with Bobby
Vinton on it.  What's the story with that?
Lou: Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton, I love that song.
CB!: And you were fooling around with the tape some?  It sounds really 
spliced up.
Lou: Yeah, on a cassette four track.
CB!: I was really into that and this other thing, a sort of a sound montage 
of several songs that sounded spliced together.
Lou: Yeah, that's Joni Mitchell and Tammy Wynette rotating.  It's a line from 
a Joni Mitchell song, then a line from a Tammy Wynette song, then a line from 
a Joni Mitchell song, and like the tapes are kinda fucked up so it's like 
slower and faster and like weaving through each other.
CB!: And those tapes were messed with, they sound all warped and distorted.
Lou: Yeah, I played with the pitch control on my four track.
CB!: That was just something that you did in your room?
Lou: Yeah.
CB!: When did you move away from home?
Lou: Move away from home?  Four years ago and I just moved back.
CB!: So you could live with your mom?
Lou: To live with my family.  I live with my mom and dad now again.
CB!: Do you have any siblings?
Lou: Yes.  Two.  Two sisters.  One sister is one year younger than me and the
other sister is six years younger than me.  I am twenty five years old.
CB!: Why is the LP of Freed Man so different from the CD Freed Weed?
Lou: Because we tried to make a really long CD that was over 120 minutes 
long where we included every single song from the Freed Man plus a bunch of 
sound montages that we had made.  And it was to be our perfected version of 
the Freed Man album.  But when we sent in the tape they said that the CD 
could only be 72 minutes.  So we had to take off 30 minutes of the Freed Man.
CB!: So stuff from the LP Freed Man is not even on the CD?
Lou: A lot of the stuff isn't even out.  There's like other ultimate versions 
and more songs and different stuff.  We had made a huge perfect version of 
the Freed Man and then it was over.  The CD would have to had been 110 
minutes long or something, which they just can't do.
CB!: I haven't actually played the CD and the LP of Weed Forestin at the same
time, but...
Lou: It's the same.  Unfortunately I should have cut a lot out of Weed 
Forestin too, so I could make it more balanced.  Just take the best songs 
from Weed Forestin and the best songs from Freed Man and all of that be one 
CD with both of them being equal length, but I kinda rushed it.
CB!: Are you going to do anything with the really good stuff that you cut out
of the CD?
Lou: Maybe, maybe someday.
CB!: A Losers II?
Lou: I'm gonna make a Losers II definitely.
CB!: I like that tape a lot.
Lou: Yeah, I'm gonna make a perfected version of that.
CB!: What was the evolution of your guitar that you are playing right now?  
With the few strings on it?
Lou: I just have always played with as many strings as were on my guitar when 
I was growing up and sometimes that was 5 or 4 because I couldn't buy 
strings.  And also with 3 strings or so it's just got a much heavier sound 
and I was able to strum it with a lot more force than I would be able to 
strum it with 6 strings so I had more control over the rhythm of the guitar.  
Then I started learning how to strum different ways with just 4 strings.  And 
that's what I play primarily now is 4 string guitar.  About 90% of my songs 
are written on 4 string guitar if not 95%.
CB!: Were you writing any of this music when you were in Dinosaur?  Or was 
all the music you were writing kept to yourself?
Lou: What do you mean?
CB!: Were you writing any music that was Dinosaur music?
Lou: No, it could never be Dinosaur music.  I didn't want it to be electric, 
I wanted to play it acoustic.  Cause I played electric all the time and I 
went on tour and just played really loud all the time.  I wanted to create 
something acoustic.  Dinosaur didn't ever exactly lend itself to any sort of 
sensitive handling so I never ventured to bring anything that I wanted to 
play quiet.  I didn't want to bring it in just so we could make it electric, 
I didn't think it would sound very good.  Besides most of my songs were 
written in alternate tunings and I like the nuances of an alternate tuning.  
And I never did write any of my songs on regular guitar.  You know, I just 
wouldn't want to hear those songs...  I just liked alternate tuning acoustic 
sound, I like that, it's what I was into.
CB!: I like it too.
Lou: You know, maybe I'm just slowly learning the guitar and maybe some day
I'll have 6 strings on my guitar.
CB!: I really like the 12 string deal.
Lou: It's really a 6 stings, it just has two low ones.  (2 double strings on
the bottom, and 2 single strings on the top)  It gives it a meatier sound.  
You can just be like God Almighty at certain points.  It's really wonderful,
especially when I have 2 distortion pedals.  It just feels really good to 
CB!: Do you often play bass during a show?
Lou: I don't play like we played tonight very often.  Me and Jason tonight 
were just like completely fucking attached.  It was really weird.  
Everything we played was just like one thing to another.  We just really 
flow together incredibly well when we play bass and drums.  It's kinda scary.  
I think I play with him a lot more powerfully than I played with Murph(The 
drummer from Dinosaur Jr.).  That's really funny.  I can't believe that what 
we're doing is actually evolving into something that's much more powerful 
than Dinosaur is.
CB!: It was really amazing when just the two of you were playing together.
Lou: It.. we.. fucking, I don't know.  Tonight we were just absolutely
attached.  In this total spiritual-musical sense.  There was something
completely flowing between us when we were doing that.  It was completely 
CB!: Was it Louisville, Slint being here, or just you guys?
Lou: It could be the land but it could also... I mean we had a really good 
show last night in Tennessee too.  I really felt as though we really fed off 
the land there, I think we were feeding off the land here as well.  But I 
don't know if it's Slint.  I don't know what it is exactly, I really can't 
tell.  I don't think it's all just centered on the fact that Slint is here.  
It seems to be something that manifests itself in the majority of the people 
who are here.  There is just a certain vibe that I think I sense and I think 
Jason sensed it as well.  I don't know it could be just a purely musical 
influence but then it could be also, something more spiritual.
CB!: I've been listening to your tapes for years and years, and I really
wondered what you would sound like live.  It didn't sound anything like I
imagined, it was fucking cool.
Lou: That's cool.  That's fucking great.  Really, actually, the way we play
live is really close to the way I play acoustic.  I think because Jason has
complete freedom to play whatever he wants in a song and he really 
counteracts my stuff really really well.  I'm not working alone at all, 
there are two other people who are shaping the sound on their own level, and 
it's completely exciting.
CB!: What about your lyrics?  Do you ever just write stuff instead of 
writing into a journal?
Lou: Yeah, it could be considered that.  Actually I've said that many times.
My songs are my diary.  To write them for myself, I don't care.  I want to
share them immediately for some reason.  Cause I would love to hear music 
like that so I make the music that I want to hear.  I want to hear someone 
talking to me about what they are feeling.
CB!: When did you start doing that?
Lou: I don't know, I think I've always done that.  I think I have sort of an
exhibitionist streak.
CB!: Tonight you introduced a song as being about how pornography has ruined 
the way you feel sex.
Lou: It hasn't ruined it, but it's something that I've been thinking about
recently so I wrote a song about it.
CB!: What's it called?
Lou: Home Made.  It's something that my thoughts on it aren't very 
formulated but I've been able to improvise on the lyrics when we play live.  
It seems to be taking some sort of shape.  When we play live and I'm faced 
with having to sing a song that I don't have lyrics for it makes me take it 
off the top of my head and make it into a lyric as immediately as I feel it.  
It's a good way to read down to the exact feeling of the song and expressing 
it as directly as I can is meaningful to myself.
CB!: It's something that startled me because it's something that I've been
thinking about recently too.  I didn't really expect to have something reach
out from the stage and have someone tell me what I'm thinking about.
Lou: I've been noticing that everything runs in waves.  I was especially
convinced of that last fall.  When we left on tour last time was when the
Nirvana record was released.  With the Nirvana record, it's been accompanied 
by a rash of psychic disturbances among my friends.  It's sort of uncanny, a 
wave of romantic re-evaluation, of death, of contemplating all the people 
around us dying - like just among my friends.  I really feel like there is 
some sort of wave going on.  I also have the same feeling that if I write 
about exactly what I'm thinking about, and there's other people that feel 
the same thing... I think this is incredibly important right now.  For people 
to communicate. People need to communicate and enjoy music, because music is 
dying.  It should be transformed into the true folk art that it is.  It 
should be something that is a true expression of the way people feel.  It 
should be a connection between people.
CB!: Definitely.  Communication.
Lou: It's definitely time.  I feel as though right now I'm possessed with a
need to communicate.  It's the most interesting and exciting thing that's 
ever happened to me.
CB!: I think your stuff is amazing.
Lou: Thanks.  That's totally cool.  I hope a lot of people think that that's
the whole point you know.
CB!: I think they do.  I try to throw in some Sebadoh on tapes I make for 
people and say "listen to this."
Lou: I'm sensing that that is happening.  I sense some sort of progress.  I
feel a power from that.
CB!: It's kind of weird to be connected to all these people that way 
Lou: Yeah, it's really interesting, I'm very curious about what's going to
happen.  I'm sort of curious as to how well I'm going to handle it.  How 
much it's going to fuck me up.
CB!: Just to clarify, why are you no longer in Dinosaur?
Lou: Why?  Because it was an emotionally-totally-completely-impossible-
uptight-horrible-situation.  No one's heard this?
CB!: I just don't understand what happened.
Lou: They said they broke up the band and they didn't.  They told me the 
band had broken up and that was it, and they went on without me under the 
same name and they weren't broken up.  They did it so they wouldn't have to 
tell me.  They had no idea, or J. in particular had no idea how to 
communicate with me whatsoever.  He was completely lost.
CB!: You became sort of infamous in a way.  They went on MTV and said, "we 
want a new bass player because our last one was terrible." or something like 
Lou: They just didn't get along with me.  It was great.  All that stuff was
completely great.  That was the funniest thing.  I've been vindicated in so
many ways so it's nothing that I'm really worried about anymore.  I just 
feel like I've been completely freed from that situation and I feel that 
freedom intensely right now.  I'd rather not even think about it anymore.  
I thought about it for almost two solid years.  You talk to me anytime and 
I was just completely obsessed with hatred.  I was completely horribly 
bitter, I just didn't take it very well and I made sure that everyone knew.  
But right now things are going really well.  I want to be as big as My Bloody 
CB!: They have money behind them.  I think they are being engineered to hit 
the charts or something.  They're just gonna be big big big...
Lou: Big big big they're going to the top top top.  And they suck too.  
They're completely great, but they can't write a song to save their fucking 
lives.  They actually have some serious power behind them, but there is no 
fucking feeling or emotion.  The feeling is in the music, but lyrically it's 
pretty dead.  I mean, if it's played so loud... I don't think they are 
actually experimenting with their music.  From what I can tell they are very 
of-the-moment, they are very much what people want to hear right now, and 
they are part of this wave, but I think that in the end their relatively 
meager talents will be exposed.  [Lou retracts this statement in CB! #2]
CB!: What do you think of Ride?
Lou: I love Ride.
Jason(who just walked over): Except for that new piece of shit.
Lou: Their new thing really sucks.  For the cover of the new Sebadoh thing I
took the cover of their new ep and cut it to shreds, spread it out on paper 
and put Sebadoh underneath because I was so disappointed.
CB!: So what bands do you like?
Lou: Definitely, lets talk about this.  Slowdive...
CB!: What do they sound like?
Lou: They just sound like shit, they sound like the Cocteau Twins and New 
Order just they play like these really simple little creeping songs that 
are played like through a billion effects, but there are actual transcendent 
moments in two or three songs where they just break through into this chiming 
mass of..this wall of sound like ching ching ching... with these breathy 
vocals and it's really pretty exciting.  It kind of reminds me of the same 
euphoria that I'll get sometimes when I listen to My Bloody Valentine, but 
it's not as heavy and distorted as My Bloody Valentine, but they're ok.  And 
I like one song by Moonshake another Creation band which doesn't actually 
sound like a Creation band.  They have a Cocteau Twins influence, but they 
fuck it up, it's really cool, they just really cut things up.  There's this 
one song called Coward that really blows me away.  I like Black Tamborine, 
Wing Tip Slowed.
Jason: Wing Tip Sloat, they're from McKlain, Virginia.  They are awesome, 
they have one single out and a cassette.
CB!: What do you think of Pavement?
Lou: I don't care about Pavement.  I think they were really good live, but I
don't think their records are anything special at all.  It's sort of like My
Bloody Valentine.  There is a wave of certain style of bands that sort of tap
into something briefly, but I think in the end their meager talents will be
CB!: I can't think of any more questions.
Lou: My negativity is bringing it all to a total complete halt.
Jason: Ok!  Let's go!
     We all stood up and started walking back to the club, and Lou turned and
walked into a low-hanging sign.  
Sebadoh Discography[click for current discography] as of 2-94:
12"s and CDs:
Freed Man LP--32 tracks--Homestead
Weed Forestin LP 23 tracks--Homestead
Freed Weed CD 41 tracks--Homestead
  (contains only partial _Freed Man_, has 2 previously unreleased tracks)
Sebadoh III CD/LP--23 Tracks--Homestead
Rockin' the Forest 12"/CD--8 tracks--20/20 UK
Sebadoh vs. Helmet 12"/CD--9 tracks--20/20 UK
Sebadoh vs. Helmet Rockin the Forest LP/CD--17 tracks--City Slang Germany
Smash your Head 12"/CD--12 tracks--Sub Pop
  (all tracks taken from Rockin' the Forest and vs. Helmet)
Soul and Fire 12"/CD--6 tracks--Domino UK
  [contains the tape played before/during early shows and is a must 
Bubble and Scrape CD/LP--17 tracks--Sub Pop/Domino/City Slang
Asshole--7 tracks--Vertical (2 pressings so far)
Gimme Indie Rock--5 tracks--Homestead
Oven is My Friend--5 tracks--Siltbreeze
Soul and Fire--4 tracks--Sub Pop (different b-sides than 12")
14 minute noise/fragments BONUS 7" with UK Bubble and Scrape--came
  with first 1,000 vinyl LPs, otherwise unavailable
Compilations and Splits:
split w/Big Stick--5 tracks--Sonic Life fanzine (Blast First) UK
  (no longer available)
Magic Ribbons box set split w/King Missile--6 tracks--Leopard Gecko
Split w/Azalia Snail--3 tracks--Dark Beloved Cloud
"Scars 4 Eyes" Big Fish in a Little Sea CD--Jama Disc
  (first studio recording, very different from III's version, local Western
  Mass compilation)
"Soulmate"--Sub Pop--SASSY magazine 7" (same version as Sebadoh vs. Helmet)
"It's so Hard to Fall in Love"--Sub Pop _Lovesongs_ CD (same version as 
  Rockin' the Forest)
  (any other Sub Pop compilations contain album tracks)
"Whitey Peach", Volume CD, fanzine UK (recorded live in '92)
Sentridoh cassette:
Losers--40 tracks--Shrimper (not available) cassette
Most of the Worst and Some of the Best--16 tracks--Shrimper (not available) 
Sensif Dull Thump King of the Dry Hump--Shrimper cassette
"Certain Dance, Circumstance"--Pawn Shop Reverb compilation of Shrimper bands
  --Shrimper cassette
Wasted Pieces--Shrimper cassette
Sentridoh 7"s:
Me and My Arrow, Ghost of a Rollercoaster--Shrimper 7" compilation
Losercore b/w Really Insane--Smells Like Records
Mysterious Sentridoh EP--6 tracks--Little Brother Records
[compilation] "Say Mold, Same Old" Hot Tips CD comp.--Dedicated/Melody
Deep Wound-7" (includes J. Mascis in band.. early hardcore years for these
Belt Buckle 7"--4 tracks--Sonic Bubblegum) Lou, Bob Fay, Eric Matthews
Sparkalepsy, The Heather's Overbite EP"--8 tracks--Vertical
  (Jason solo)
Leaky Chipmonk 1 track on Fortune Cookie Prize CD/LP (Beat Happening Tribute
  record).  The band included Bob Weston, Lou Barlow, Bob Fay and Trish
  Matthews.  The track covered was "Our Secret"
John Davis Folk Implosion -or- Nervous Johnny and the Pothead
  [Stuff coming soon! I hope! -Matt]
Lou's first band was Wayne and the Wangs, then he formed Deep Wound with J
  when J answered Lou's ad in the local newspaper.
Then Dinosaur of course.  Lou was booted out of Dinosaur in a very uncool
  way.  They told him the band had broken up, and then went on without him.
The mismarked mail could appear in mailboxes anywhere.   12/11/91
  Columbus, Ohio (AP) -- Because of a mistake by a rushed technician, up to
12,000 pieces of mail were stamped with the phrase "You Bitch," a Postal 
Service Spokesman said.
  A worker testing an optical character scanner Saturday at the main post
office in downtown Columbus forgot to delete his test phrase when he was 
called away to another job.  Ed Johnson director of marketing and 
communications for the post office, said Monday.
  Johnson said the two words were printed on 10,000 to 12,000 envelopes 5 1/4
inches tall or larger -- envelopes "about the size of Christmas cards."
  "We had intended to have holiday greetings or 'Merry Christmas' as messages
that go on the envelopes," Johnson said.  "It turned out to be a bit 
different than that."
  He said the technician was horrified when he found out what had happened.
The Postal Service did not identify the worker, but said he will face 
disciplinary action, although officials said the error was unintentional.
  The mismarked mail could appear in mailboxes anywhere in the country.
Columbus postal authorities notified other post offices nationwide so they
would know where the problem came from, Johnson said.
  Postal workers blocked the words out with black marker on the few 
envelopes they could find.
 Hashbrowns 5 Different Ways
 * "Traditional Golden Brown"
 * "Scattered & Smothered"
 * "Scattered, Smothered & Covered"
 * "Scattered, Smothered, Covered and Chunked"
 * "Scattered, Smothered, Covered, Chunked & Topped"
                       Me As TV - Bill Dreamwhip
     It's like this.  Nausea seeps outta my insides like toxic waste, my 
mouth waters, gets ready for the barf.  I sweat cold pricks.  Fight it, fight 
it.  Then the black fuzz, like I'm losing The Signal, losing reception, my 
vision particularizes, pixilates.  I scramble around, try to get some blood 
to my head.  Too late.  The National Anthem bounces off of a few of my 
synapses, then I'm off the air.  I wake up on the floor, like coming outta 
possession.  Or maybe like being repossessed.  Re-animated by Consciousness, 
that fucken demon Signal that torments me, makes me see, and feel, and fret.
Sure, I fight Unconsciousness, cuz I crave the Signal, I'm an addict.  I may 
not like the program, but what else is there?  Black fuzz, nothing.
     I got nailed last nite, flew off my skate and busted my wrist.  I think 
I wacked myself offline, and all today feel like the Signal's weaker, more
distant.  And it makes me sad.  Fucken sad.  Cuz I don't like the darkness,
I don't like what's behind the black fuzz, the eye-static.  It's sleep, but 
no dreams.  It's a dead place.  I fight it, I WANT my mtv, I want the Signal, 
I gotta be tuned in, y'know?  But there's that other thing inside me, where 
the nausea comes from, where I'm so fucken tired, tired of Consciousness, 
tired of Noise, and Spectacle, sick of my eyes being peeled open, pupils 
dilated, watching the grotesque parade of baby molesters and sex-as-death 
and little boys with puffed out tummies and sunken cheeks.  What's the 
whisper?  Let go? Tune out?  Sleep, man.  And what's the fuzz, anyway?  
Black fuzz, like some transdimensional cunt, like a clump of pubes, and I've 
been born once, and it HURT, so - once is enough.  The fuzzy curtain I passed 
thru.  Once, thanks mom, and here I am, in the land of the Signal, conscious 
and scared and sick, and then there's the fuzz again, the cunt, maybe God's 
pubes - and I'm being pulled back in, curled up like a fetus, cold and quiet, 
tuned out, sleeping like a miscarriage.
     Okay.  So it hurts, so the Signal burns thru my pupils and makes my hair
fall out, but shit, I wanna FEEL, I need it, I need the fix, I gotta be
conscious.  Fuck the fuzzy curtain.
Queens man admits blowing up goat   (from the New York Daily News)
  A Queens man pleaded guilty yesterday to animal-cruelty charges for blowing
up a goat.
  Leroy Wilkinson, 46, of Cambria Heights was arrested Nov. 27th after the
fire department responded to reports of an explosion at his house.
  "When they got there they found body parts of a goat and dead carcasses of
other animals," said Herman Cohen, chief of law enforcement for the ASPCA.
Wilkinson told authorities he was "performing a religious ceremony." He was
sentenced to five days of community service.
                                   -Mike Hurewitz
Cult of the Dead Cow and MMoT
  ...present...         Helmet Interview: July 17, 1992
                                                         by Matt Kelly
                      >>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
                        -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
 ____       _     ____       _       ____       _     ____       _       ___
     Interview with Page Hamilton of Helmet on July 17, 1992 at St. Andrew's
Hall in Detroit as conducted by Matt Kelly.
CB!: What 7" singles are you guys going to do, and are they going to be on
Amphetamine Reptile?
PH: Well, we did "In the Meantime," and that came out this spring I think 
some time.  "In the Meantime" was the last 7" we released and hopefully we 
will do more 7"s with AmRep.
CB!: Is there a plan?
PH: No plan right now, we're just going to tour our butts off on this and 
enjoy ourselves.  We're/I'm working on new stuff and we're going to slowly
incorporate the new stuff into the set, hopefully record a few songs in the
fall, record a few more in the winter or spring, and then mix something, 
have something out by next fall again.
CB!: You (Page) wrote most of the songs that you're doing right now.
PH: I write all the music and lyrics, then bring in the band, and they turn 
it into something interesting by being really great players and stuff.  And 
then we just sort of shape it like that.
CB!: Somebody told me that "No Nicky No" was written by the whole band.
PH: "No Nicky No" was a group jam.  I didn't feel like writing anything, and 
we got home from a tour and the next day had to go into the studio and come 
up with something the day after we got back.  So we rehearsed that night, 
and I had a riff that had been bouncing around for a while; I threw it out 
at the guys, we played it, and then we just added on to it.  And Henry came 
up with a riff and we all added different parts and just went in and refined 
it the next day in the studio and that was it.  So it was a lot of fun.  But 
the problem with that, we found, was jam tunes are not as satisfying in the 
long run - we played it twice live after that and then said, "let's retire 
this."  It's more fun to play stuff where the structures are a little more 
interesting, and that's why I've been working on most of the stuff.
CB!: Have you retired many songs?
PH: No, I still kind of think that we're gonna try to keep everything
available, and eventually we'll go learn "Taken" again, that's something we
haven't done for a long time.  And then that B-side "No Nicky No" and 
"Murder," we haven't played that in a very, very long time.  But I hope to 
eventually pull that back.  It's fun to keep everything at your disposal if 
you want to play it, but I think we tend to work towards new stuff, and if 
people request stuff it's kind of fun to play it for them.  So, that's the 
only thing. "Impressionable" we pulled that out of our hat because we get 
lots of requests for that.  And I completely forgot the lyrics and I was 
completely improvising nonsense.
CB!: I liked the opening band tonight.
PH: Yeah, they've been around New York for a while, and I just love 'em.  I
think they're really great.  I love Crawl Pappy a lot.  This is the first
opportunity we had to take somebody with us as openers and just bands that we
think are really great in New York and want to expose to people.  We're 
looking forward to this month.
CB!: Quicksand (the other band opening for Helmet) is on Interscope also, 
PH: No, they just sign to Polysomething, 'Dor, 'Gram, Polyville, Polytone,
CB!: What do you listen to that you think would surprise people?
PH: A lot of people are becoming aware that I listen to a lot of jazz and 
that I studied jazz at Manhattan School of Music and University of Oregon.  
That's what my musical background is in.  I also listen to classical music 
'cause I studied at conservatories.  I suppose you wouldn't hear those 
influences in Helmet, so that might be a shock.  Probably things I listen 
to that would turn people's stomach - I don't own any country/western 
records, but I totally love it for a change on the radio when we're driving.  
I like the schlocko country stuff, and the old country stuff.  I also really 
like Bob Dylan and some classic rock stuff that punkers seem to not be into.  
I love the Doors and Hendrix and all that stuff.
CB!: How do you feel about bands like the Grateful Dead that are still 
PH: The Grateful Dead are a band that I don't like.  They've lived a long 
time and done a lot of stuff.  They're just not my cup of tea.  I've seen 
them actually twice when I was at college in Oregon, every roommate I had 
was a Deadhead, yeah, dropping acid every five minutes and having flashbacks, 
pouring maple syrup on our shag rug, and watching Creature Features and 
listening to Dead bootlegs and stuff.  And I guess that kind of ruined it 
for me.  It wasn't my thing.  At that time, I was really into jazz and they 
were giving me a lot of shit for having a hollow-body jazz guitar, and I 
didn't look like a rocker.
CB!: Are you done with college now?
PH: Yeah.  Finished in '87, actually.  My Masters in '87.
CB!: How old are you?
PH: 32.  Yeah.
CB!: I thought you were younger.
PH: Yeah, people say I look younger, I guess.  It's that exercise regimen, I
CB!: So, Steve Albini produced just one song for you?
PH: Yeah, Steve would look at it more like engineering.  And same with 
Wharton (Tiers), I think.  We've worked with Wharton in the past, and we 
really wanted to do something with Steve.  We did some demos, and it worked 
out conveniently that we were in Chicago and could do demos.  We wanted to do 
the album right then, but Steve couldn't do it.  So we came back to New York 
and compared the demos and decided that they were so close that we could just
stay in New York with Wharton and ride our bikes to the studio.
CB!: So it really wasn't that you had a preference between the tapes?
PH: They're both fantastic.  There's no question about it.  They're both
incredibly talented.  Wharton had a little bit warmer guitar sound, Steve had 
a little crisper drum and vocal sound.
CB!: On the new single, "No Nicky No" seems to have a better sound to it than
the A-side.
PH: Yeah, that was mixed by Wharton.  Punchy.  I think the Jesus Lizard 
records sound phenomenal, and Steve does all those.  As well as the Tar 
records.  Wharton has done almost 70 albums, so he knows what the hell's 
going on too.
CB!: What about Don Fury?
PH: Don Fury did our first 7", it was actually our first demo tape and we
pulled the 7" off that.  He's another very talented guy in New York City.
CB!: How many songs are on that?
PH: First demo?  Four.  "Born Annoying," "Rumble," and then two songs that 
were never released called "Shirley MacLaine," and "Geisha to Go."  Those 
were odd little ditties sort of influenced by Mission of Burma, Husker Du 
and Monk or something.  They're very weird.
CB!: Have you played with any other bands recently that really impressed you?
PH: Um there are a lot of New York bands that we like.  Well, we're going to
take Loudspeaker with us on the next tour, and I love 'em.  There are a lot 
of great New York bands, the ones that everybody knows like Boss Hog and
Surgery... we play with a lot of bands, and some of them I dig and some of 
them I don't dig.  A lot of the names escape me.  I have a bad memory when 
it comes to band names.  I like the Jesus Lizard and Melvins a lot.  But 
everybody loves them, I guess.  The Jesus Lizard and the Melvins are doing 
something that's really fresh.  You can see their roots and you can hear, I 
suppose, a Sabbathy influence in the Melvins and a Birthday Party influence 
in the Jesus Lizard.
CB!: I played you guys for my Mom tonight before I came to the show.
PH: Oh, wow.  Was she headbangin' or was she...?
CB!: She told me to bring earplugs.  What was your reaction to that guy on 
MTV (Dave Kendall of 120 Minutes) referring to you as a woman?
PH: I didn't see it.  Everybody told me about it and said that they were
laughing hysterically, then apparently he apologized three weeks later, two
weeks later or something, I didn't see it, I don't really watch MTV.  I 
don't have cable.  I always knew the guy was a put-on anyway, he's just a 
guy that they put a stick up his ass and they show him how to move his hands 
and fill him in on cue cards.  It's pretty obvious, and this pretty much 
revealed it, I suppose.
CB!: Never heard the band, never going to, and trying to save face on TV.
PH: I have no desire to go out and do an interview with the guy, 'cause he's
never heard of us.  Ricky Rackman (host of Headbanger's Ball on MTV) has 
known about Helmet for two years, and he's a metal dude but he seems to have 
his ear to the ground, more informed.  He was talking to our booking agent 
two years ago about having us play at his Cat House or something in L.A.
CB!: Your video that got a little play, do you think that...
PH: I've seen a little bit of change, yeah, there's no question.  The album
came out three weeks ago and we toured in March and April, and before the 
album came out, the day after we finished recording it, we split out on tour.  
It was normal, the audience was building gradually.  This time, they've 
doubled, tripled and quadrupled.  We've sold out every show, so there has to 
be something.  Either the album is getting exposure, or MTV, or something is
happening.  The label is doing their job, I don't know.  It's all a mystery 
to me, I don't know how that works.
CB!: Where did the cover from the most recent 7" come from?
PH: That was a Tom Hazelmyer creation.  We left it completely up to Tom, and 
he sent it out to us and we immediately said, "yeah, that's great."
CB!: I thought that the picture itself might have come from a Christian 
pamphlet about people dying in car crashes and going to heaven.
PH: Really?  That's great.  I have no idea where it came from.  Tom came up
with it, we just loved the way it looked.  Tom does really great artwork.  
It's one of his strong points.
CB!: Did SubPop screw you over?  I heard you saying something about that
PH: Oh, well, no, they didn't screw us over.  It was just one of those weird
things where they... SubCop - Pop - could have had Helmet three years ago, 
they were somebody we had sent a demo to 'cause I had heard of them.  I knew 
who they were because I had heard Mudhoney.  They said, "Yeah, you guys are 
really great.  We're into doing a new thing for SubPop, and we think you guys 
are it."  And then they never got back to us.  And then we opened for Tad and 
the guy came up to us and said, "Are we going to do a single together?"  And 
I didn't know who he was, I had no idea.  And then Tad said, "This is 
Jonathan from SubPop."  And I said, "Oh yeah.  Oh sure.  That'd be great."  
And then they offered us a really low amount of money, and we told Hazelmyer, 
and he said, "Nah, just pass.  We'll put out a single if you want."  And I 
said ok.  And then the other guy, Bruce, called back and said, "I'm sorry, 
how about if we give you this, that, and this?"
CB!: Was this your first single?
PH: No, this was after STRAP IT ON was out, this was what eventually was
"Oven."  So, Tom worked out a deal with them, to do the AmRep compilation.  
And that's what we ended up doing.  So they didn't screw us.  They just kind 
of were a little bit fishy about the whole thing.  They weren't very 
assertive or whatever, and we were very happy with AmRep.  There was no 
reason for us to do anything unless we could make a little bit of money and 
get a little bit more exposure.  So Tom said, "I've got this thing worked 
out, we have complete control of the artwork"  They had originally Frank 
Kozick did a porno-Flintstones thing for the cover of "Smells Like Smoked 
Sausage."  It was going to be called something else.  It was like Fred 
fucking Dino and Betty and Barney going at it.  It was some really obscene 
thing.  I said, "that's a little bit crass, isn't it?"  So they came up with 
this smoked sausage thing.
CB!: So, it had to do with you saying...
PH: No, no, no.  I think SubPop turned it down.  But I told Tom, "It's not
really my cup of tea, as you know."  He said, "It's great, it's great."  I
said, "Well, whatever."  So I think SubPop said, "Well, come on."  
CB!: So do you think this type of decision comes from being older?
PH: Yeah, I suppose, having lived through more things than someone who's 21 
as opposed to 31 or 32.  You come into contact with a lot of things on the 
road, and I certainly have fairly developed opinions about things.  A lot of 
bands will do anything to sell records and become rich and famous.  We're not 
one of those bands.  We don't consider signing to a major label being in the 
jaws of a Satanic Majesty, but we won't tour with Skid Row or fuckin' Poison.  
There are certain things, like last night they had flyers all over the club 
in Toronto. I wasn't aware of it.  Like little Helmet mini-bios and stuff, 
and I saw them and that kind of stuff flips me out.  It was just something 
the record company in Canada thought was a good thing and I suppose they 
meant well, but they didn't understand that we're about to play a show.  
If we can't win people over playing a show, then we're pretty fucked, you 
know?  If we gotta put out some piece of literature - "Forget what you've 
heard about Helmet and focus on what you're hearing..." and some little bio - 
a bio is fine to introduce people at a record store or distributors.  But at 
a show, you're there to play, and if you can't rock their butt, then you suck.  
So, give it up.  That kind of stuff a major label isn't going to understand.  
The reason we went to Interscope is we feel we have complete control over the 
United States, anyway, to guide them and do stuff that we feel comfortable 
CB!: What's Interscope a subsidiary of?
PH: Atlantic.  And they're distributed by WEA.  Warner/Elektra/Atlantic.
CB!: That's it.
PH: Cool.
(Helmet was given $300 for their song on the Subpop release SMELLS LIKE 
Special thanks to Mike Seery for his help transcribing this file.
Poetry By Kevin
My penis is-
the garter snake
in your garage
that you hit over and over
with the baseball bat.
My penis, my penis,
Is not a heroin fiend.
And if it was on the showroom floor,
I'd wax it to a glossy sheen.
I'm a gonna pound my penis flat as a pancake jus' to please you, dear.
WHAM WHAM WHAM <yow> WHAM <eergh>
There... two feet wide, quarter inch thick.  Much like a sail for floating
in a lake with a cool breeze blowing, my penis extended above - propelling
me to and fro.  Or perhaps a fan, to flap and cool my testicles in the hot
summer sun.  I can even roll it up, like a poster or carpet, and make the
meanest poker you ever did see.
I'm feeling antagonistic towards my penis
So me an' Penis are gonna go at it
"No holds barred", as they say
And when it's over,
One of us is gonna be BEATEN to a BLOODY PULP.
If my penis was a choke collar,
I would wrap it around your neck...
Pull it tight-
  Inches o'
     Tits of salvation
        -and strangle you like the dog you are.
Sometimes I get angry.  That chickenshit Joe Popperazzi flicks my cherries
from my Eve cigarettes.  You know, the one's with the flowery Garden of Eden
filters.  I order another Pink Lady from the bartender.  Pink Ladies come
with plastic swords that hold fruit chunks.  I unsheath the sword and look
for Joe across the crowded smokey barroom.  His bra is jumping out of his
shirt from the trendy black light, his chest rising and falling like my
pillow did during last night's flashback.  I catch his attention and motion
towards the women's room for a meeting inside.  That sick bastard thinks I
want to fuck him.  Little does he know what I really have in mind.  Once 
inside we move into a stall and lock the metal door behind us.  I move 
toward his face as if to kiss him but abruptly place my mouth over his 
eyeball and begin to suck very hard, as if trying to pull a hard boiled egg
through a small straw.  I hold his eyelids apart with my teeth and begin to 
feel his veins rising out of his eye and squishing against my tongue.  Why
isn't he screaming?  I suck harder till I hear that lovely little 'pop' of
Joe Popperazzi's eye leaving the socket.  It hits the back of my throat with
a thud but I suck it back onto my tongue and open my mouth, letting Joe's
eye look at Joe and Joe look at his eye.  I pull the cocktail sword from my
pocket and delicately shove it through the eyeball.  It squirts a little 
into Joe's other eye.  I drop it into the Pink Lady as Joe passes out falling
into the toilet.  I light an Eve cigarette and slowly blow smoke at Joe 
giggling like a nun on Christmas.  "Elvis is the one and only king!" I 
scream, and laughing, I leave the toilet to go dance to 'Suspicious Minds.'
                              -Blake and Wini
First to the Finish Line It's
   SLUMBERLAND RECORDS' Summer '93 Line-up!
 Sleepyhead "Punk Rock City USA"  LP/CD/7"
 Jane Pow  Both LPs on one CD
 Stereolab "Switched On" LP/CD  "John Cage Bubblegum" 7"
 Velocity Girl  Early singles compilation CD
Send a stamp for a complete list!
 Slumberland Records
 Box 14731
 Berkeley, CA  94701
Coffee Coffee what would I do without you?
You are there when I need you in the morning,
and still around when it's time for the final stretch on the job.
Coffee Coffee you transform my world into someplace I can 
easily deal with.  Someplace I've mastered.  Someplace I'm 
But wo, when my coffee cannister is empty, and I don't have the 
change to go to the coffee shop.
I may as well hide in my bed waiting for withdrawl into
Jesus Lizard interview by Matt and Chad.  
Brought to you by MMoT, cDc, and
Cool Beans! BBS - music nerd central  Spring 1991
     Chad and I set up interviews with The Jesus Lizard and Dinosaur Jr. for 
a final project in my Audio Production course and for broadcasts on our
respective radio shows.  We drove down to Bogarts in Cincinnati and checked 
in at the front door.  As it turned out, Dinosaur Jr's label, Sire Records
(subsidiary of Warner Brothers/subsidiary of Time Warner the mega corporation
that owns more media outlets than any other company in the world-ie they are
basically in control of what people in the United States read, listen to, and
see for 'news' and 'entertainment') had not left us tickets and back stage
passes at the door as they had promised.
     We were frustrated, but decided to try to meet up with the bands around
back by the stage door.  We approached David Yow and David Sims of The Jesus
Lizard at the back door and told them about Sire Records not coming through 
on their end of the deal.  So being the cool guys they are they told us to 
just grab some equipment and walk in the door with them just saying "we're 
with the band."  Which we did.  After we were in we had to deal with the guy 
who was in charge of backstage security who knew that there weren't seven 
members of The Jesus Lizard. (Um, Steve Albini was hanging out too, he was 
running sound for them and so he was band member number 5.)  So we convinced 
the security dude to put Chad on The Jesus Lizard's guest list, and I'd 
continue to tell people I was in the band.
     So we were hanging out in the dressing room below the stage when we
started rolling the tape.
Chad: Does that microphone actually pick up?  From all the way over there?
Matt: It's a shotgun mike.
Chad: How far would it pick up?  If I went across the street?
Albini (with a mock gay drawl): Please Chad, shut the door...
Steve Albini radio I.D.: Hi, this is Steve Albini and I'm not in a band or
anything, and I ceased to be important about five years ago and I don't 
listen to the radio, but if I did, and I happened to live in Cincinnati, 
which I don't, I would listen to WYSO, 91.3fm, Yellow Springs.
Steve telling a favorite joke when he thought he was off-mike: What's the 
other one, uh, um, Gay Chinese restaurant... uh, um, Sum Young Guy Cum... 
heh-heh sorry...  (No, he's not hung up on homosexuality... no....)
David Sims: Hey, who the hell are you?
David Yow: Mike the Mechanic...
Chad: ok..
David Yow: So this guys name is Cliff Lippman, and his radio name is
Chad: Every DJ in Northern California has a stupid fucking name.  I think 
it's a law.
Yow: Yeah, I'll bet it's worse than Southern California, woh-hoh... Well, 
I'll eat... (looking at Chad) Ok, you're on the list (looking at me.)  You 
have to sneak around..
Matt: Ok...
Albini: Ok, later... (pause and from outside the room) How the fuck do we get
out of here?
Stage hand: Up those stairs, to the stage, out the other door....
David Yow, Duane Denison and Steve Albini were off eating a cheese burger and
playing pool down the street.  Leaving us with Mac McNeilly and David Sims.
Chad: Yeah, I saw you guys with Sonic Youth out in St. Louis.  That was the
best sound I've heard in a long time.
Mac: That was Steve doing sound.
Matt: Was he doing it for both bands or....
Sims: No, just us.... sorta like... this doesn't really look like it's going 
to be that bad, but sometimes opening for these really big bands like this we
really get shafted on the P.A.
Mac: So that's really the major reason that Steve is along is to make sure 
that doesn't happen.
Sims: Besides the fact that he does a good job on sound.
Matt: So you don't play with the soundboard set up for the other band....
Sims: Yeah, and so we don't play much too quiet you know?
     When the other guys returned we started the 'official' interview.  David
Yow took my microphone and spoke to the group saying "This is the interview. 
If you have a comment to make, you can make a comment, but make it quietly, 
and civil.  Keep a civil tongue, don't say fuck or cunt or swollen twat."
Albini(to the 3 groupies who came back stage to meet the band and were in the
process of drinking the band's beer.): Just keep drinking girls..
Groupie 1: Are you from a radio station?
Matt(reading the microphone switch, hoping it was on): Uh, yeah.  Uh,
lesse... AUS or EIN?
Groupie 2: That means your ass...
Matt: Chad, ask a question.
Albini: You may not touch my monkey.
Groupie 2(looking at the 10 inch cylinder which is my microphone): That is 
the most awesome thing I've ever seen.  Great design.  What is that called 
Matt: A shotgun mic.
Simms: This is Kim, and this is Lisa... this is Mac, David, Steve, David...
Groupie 1: Mac, David, Steve, David...
Albini: That's Jennifer, Mac, Lisa, Chad, Matt...
Yow: Jennifer, David, Chad,
Mac: Matt, Chad, this is David... (audio is kind of garbled as everyone 
starts saying everyone else's name at the same time...)
Albini: Everywhere I turn, there are like stacks of Jennifers...
Yow: Ok, hey hey HEY HEY!
Chad: To start off with, who are you all, and why are you in The Jesus 
Sims: Nothing else to do.
Yow: The Jesus Lizard and because we are in The Jesus Lizard.
Chad: So you're a skate band right?
Yow: No.
Chad: You were all in different bands before you were in The Jesus Lizard
Yow: Toxic Shock OI!  Tha's right, I were in Toxic Shock.
Duane: I was in Cargo Cult... before that I was in a band called Bill's 
Corpse which was the best fucking band.
Yow: Actually what he meant by that was that he had his penis in a man named
Bill who was dead.  Duane is kind of into fucking dead men.
Duane: But I'm not alone in this, I was just read Montgomery Cliff's 
biography, and I wasn't alone in this.  Monty had a doctor who used to raid 
the morgue and put stiffs down in his car...
Chad (the segue master): So are you guys touring right now?
Yow: Um, actually, last Saturday was the last day of the last tour we're
doing... we had a little time off... we have another show on Tuesday... then 
in June we go out for another month.
Chad: Where are you going?
Yow: Western Canada and California... Bye Jennifer, bye Brian... bye
man... There's actually a chance we might be opening for these guys again. 
Someplace.  There's going to be several shows with Glass Eye from Austin
warming us up.
Matt: They do a great cover of Cecilia...
Sims: Yeah, it's a GREAT cover!
Albini: They're going to be WARMING you up?
Sims: Baking.
Chad: Do you have day jobs?
Yow: It's not like we're rich, we don't have time, because we're touring
constantly... but we do make extra cash doing Mexican fireworks like this.
(he tosses a lit match at Lisa)
Lisa(Groupie #1): And turning tricks on the side.
Chad: All right.
Matt: Wow.
Sims: I had this hamburger on the corner called Wings and Rings and I had 
this hamburger that just about made me vomit...
Mac: But it was juicy.
Albini: It's not made for faggots to eat... you don't want a lighter you want
a  bottle opener right?
Lisa: Whatever.
Jennifer: Are you drunk already?
Matt(to Jennifer): Um, excuse me, please don't kick my tape recorder...
Yow: Oh, I'm sorry.
Matt: Uh, we're catching the chaos of the moment...
Yow: My scab's all gone... um, keep it down, keep it down....
Matt: Is this what most Jesus Lizard dressing rooms are like?
Yow: No, most have a deli platter and girls with a lot less clothes on...
Sims: Midget Clowns and small dogs.
Yow: There was this time in Pittsburgh where a midget clown was running 
around giving flowers to everybody.
Chad: In the dressing room?
Yow: Yeah, and everywhere...
Chad: Was he a fixture at this club?
Yow: I have no idea...
Sims: No actually, they mixed our rider up with Queen's... They thought that
the midget was for Freddy Mercury...
Yow: Bicycle, Bicycle...
Albini: I want to smell a bicycle seat...
Yow: I could grow a mustache if I so desired.
Matt: I'll bet you could...
Yow: I damn straight could!  Chad, what's the next question?
Chad: Do you know why KRK from Flipside says that you and the Laughing Hyenas
are going to "take it to the grave..."?
Yow: I don't know why he said that, I don't know who he is, and I don't know
why he'd say that... take WHAT to the grave?
Matt: I think he meant that as a band you would "take it to the grave..."
Yow: Do you think he's so stupid as to imply, oops I spit on myself, that 
we're gonna be a band till we die?
Duane: I think he meant that we were going to die soon.
Yow: Well, if you look at the big picture, we're all gonna die pretty damn
soon....  Did you know that Yoko Ono is 2 years younger than Johnny Cash?
Jennifer: Johnny who?
Chad: Any good anecdotes?
Mac: Tell them about the band with the ice machine.
Duane: Well, there was this band in Europe called Cadaver Back and they were
gonna play with us, and they set up their stuff, and they had driven 3 hours 
to get there, and they ended up not playing because their smoke machine 
didn't work.  So they packed up their stuff and left.  I guess it was a drag 
for them because they couldn't play with smoke.
Yow: That's really sad.
Sims: I was in disbelief...
Chad: Um, groupies, have you read I'M WITH THE BAND?
Groupie 1: What does that have to do with anything...
Groupie 2: Pamela Debarres?  That book... (garbled)... Can you imagine that?
Yow: I'm illiterate.
     Dinosaur Jr. starts playing upstairs...
Yow: Oh, fuck, is this Dinosaur Jr.?  This whiney bullshit, I don't know 
about this kind of crap, with the jangley guitars, and the weak ass garbage... 
I don't know... is this what it's coming to?
Matt: So you like this?
Yow: Yeah, I like it a lot.
Chad: You've worked with Steve on all the albums right?  How has that been?
Yow: He's good to work with and his tongue is gentle on a man's taint.
Chad: We've run out of Jesus Lizard questions, can we give you the Dinosaur
interview also?
Matt: We're not going to get to talk to them, so you guys can do both...
Yow: Can I ask the questions?  You guys, you guys, hold it down... Matt and
Chad didn't get to talk to Dinosaur Jr. so we're going to do their interview
for them.
Duane: I'll be J.
Chad: Steve will you be Murph?
Yow: Someone stole our radio station's copy of Green Mind.  Can we have 
another one?
     (Big pause, then everyone starts whining)
Albini: Um, we don't have stuff like that on tour...
Duane: Call our record company...
Albini: Aren't there people who take care of all that?
Yow: What's wrong with you guys?
Duane: We're J. Mascis!
Yow: Did you find a new bass player yet?
Albini: No.
Duane: Um.
Yow: Has the new album been doing well?
Albini: No.
Duane: It turns pretty good.
Yow: How did you get so tight with Sonic Youth?
Albini: Sex.
Yow: Have you written any songs about THEM?
Duane: The giant ants?
(At this point David Yow starts rotating between questions on the list and
questions he made up)
Yow: Do you guys like Flipper Jr.?
Duane: Not at all, those guys suck.
Yow: Was your father really called Dinosaur?
Yow: How many times must a cannonball fly?
Yow: I like the God, the 600, the uh, Goo demo... how many songs were 
Albini: Uh.
Yow: What is Lou Reed doing now?
Albini: Giving head down in Soho!
Yow: What is Louis Armstrong doing now?
Yow: What do you think of Lebanon?
Yow: Are you guys computer wackers?
Yow: A computer BBS Amigo?
Yow: Do you have anything you'd like to close with?
Yow: What is the significance of Bug?  Why not beetle or worm?
Duane: Beetle or worm.
Yow: Whose hair is the longest?
Yow: What does J. stand for?
Duane: Freedom!
(Rumor: David Yow drinks a lot.)
 Ephedrine Hydrochloride 
 100 tablets
 a bronchodilator
 25 mg
Ok, mix a lot of cheap coffee with a fair amount of good coffee and put it in 
your automatic coffee maker.  Fill the machine with as much water as you can 
fit into your pot.  Let it brew.  Then leave it on for about 24 hours just
sitting there keeping warm.  The level will probably go down a little bit,
and the color will turn a little darker brown.  The smell will probably 
drive you nuts if you are anything like me and crave coffee most of the time
anyway, but be patient.  God down to the coffee store and get a free sample
cup of coffee from them.  Or use your espresso machine today.  Ok, it's 24
hours later, pour yourself a mug of 1/3 whole milk and 2/3 dark brown brew.
Dig it.  -Matt
First of all you need a bag of white cheddar popcorn..like Smartfood or 
something equivalent.  I used to swear by Smartfood only because it is more
powerfully loaded with that white powdery cheese stuff, but then I tried 
some brands and was impressed with the subtle differences of each.  Second
you need to pop up at least twice as much of the regular stuff.  Use a 
little bit of oil and a pan, (or one of those rad poppers that stirs and
encourages all kernals to pop--kinda like movie theater popcorn poppers)
Mix all the popcorn together in a big paper grocery bag.  The third and
most important part is the spicing.  Make sure you have the following-Salt,
Pepper, Nutritional Yeast, Lemon Pepper (without MSG tastes better), Garlic
Powder (optional), and Parmesan Cheese (also optional).  Go nuts with the
Yeast and Lemon Pepper and Salt, then add some pepper and taste it, add some
more, add Parmesan Cheese (careful, too much of this tastes like shit), 
Garlic Powder, maybe Chili Powder if you have some around....This is about
all I put on Popcorn, and each time I make it, it tastes different, but 
almost always is incredible.  So then close the top of the bag and shake it
up.  As you are eating it some of the stuff will probably settle to the
bottom of the bag, so just close the top, invert the bag and shake it all 
back to the top.  Eat it till you can't move.  Oh and be careful if you are
drinking beer to avoid Yeast Overload which happens when you are drinking
Yeasty dark beer...which is good, but be careful.  -Matt
SubPop -- A big BOO HISS goes to Subpop for the way they are packaging their
singles recently.  No inner sleeve and a hard type cover so every time you
take your singles out to play them and put them back in you end up 
scratching them up.
I'm glad they are signing bands like Sebadoh and Hazel and putting out stuff
like the Wipers and the Vaselines and all, but I REALLY miss the old 7"
packaging style.  Why did they change it?   -Matt
     Aaron Cometbus Interview (conducted spring or summer 1992 by mail)
          Presented by Cool Beans! BBS and MMoT in Cooperation with 
                   Cult of the Dead Cow Communications
This is an interview with Aaron the guy who puts out Cometbus zine and used 
to be the drummer for the band Crimpshrine.  Currently I think he's playing 
in a band called Pinhead Gunpowder.  All of this was done in the mail since 
I've never met him face to face.  The main problem with this interview is 
that I sent him the only copy of the questions...so now I'm trying to 
reconstruct what I originally asked.
CB!: I'm starting a zine and having a hard time with layout.  I was wondering 
if you had any advice.
Aaron: I would never write a How-to-Publish-a-Zine thing, I think all those
How-to's only serve to make everything homogenous, boring and take the
personal discovery out of it.  The only suggestion you or anybody else needs
its to work hard at what you want to do, be honest, write about what you 
know or at least admit what you don't know, take chances, have fun.  Why 
would you possibly want to make layout easier?
CB!: In Cometbus #27 you wrote about that guy Kevin, where is he now?
Aaron: Kevin is still around town somewhere, heard he's getting married, I
can't wait to find out what he thinks of the stories.
CB!: What was the best thing you ever found in a dumpster?
Aaron: Best dumpster find, shit, that's a hard one.  I'm sure there's 
something I'm forgetting, but lately Lots of Good Food is the best thing 
I've dumpstered.
CB!: What is your favorite city?  
Aaron: Berkeley.
CB!: What would you say are the best places for pizza and burritos in the Bay
Aaron: La Cumbre is, I think, the best burrito at $1.25 for rice and bean. 
Best pizza, that I don't know.
CB!: What is your favorite thing to drink?
Aaron: I like coffee and water and shitty beer and Berry Cisco and whiskey. 
This is what I drink, probably in that order.
CB!: What is your favorite food?
Aaron: 9 grain pancakes with walnuts and poppy seeds.
CB!: I know you don't drive, but if you owned a car what kind would it be?
Aaron: It would be one that I can live in that didn't run.
CB!: What is your favorite song of all time?
Aaron: "Stay Free" by the Clash.
CB!: So is all the out of print Crimpshrine going to be reissued?
Aaron: There will indeed be a reissued collection of various Crimpshrine   
stuff [Aaron is opposed to having the stuff stuff put out on CD so it'll 
only be reissued on vinyl.]
CB!: Who are the lyrics for the song "Summertime" about?
Aaron: They are about Jeff's friend's older sister.
CB!: In the song "Bricks" on the first Crimpshrine single there is a part of 
the song where the bass starts to play a riff from an A-Ha song.  Was that
Aaron: Yeah, that was intentional, but we wouldn't have done it if we knew 
it would've ended up on a record.
CB!: What is that strange sound on the song "Free Will"?
Aaron: The slurping noise on "Free Will" is an oriental percussion 
CB!: Which Crimpshrine songs did you write the lyrics for?
Aaron: "Another Day", "Rearranged", "Tomorrow", "Butterflies", "Easy 
Answers", all 3 on the No Idea zine 7", most of the album, oh and "Pretty 
Mess".  Jeff wrote "Summertime", "Situation", "Bricks", "Construction", and 
another third of all of our songs.
CB!: I used to be in a band a few years ago and now the guys that I was in 
that band with are in new bands.  I know you are in a similar situation with
Fifteen, and that people compare Fifteen to Crimpshrine and stuff.  How does
this stuff affect you?
Aaron: Your question about Fifteen is really interesting and something I've
thought about a lot, but no one's ever asked before.  It is strange.  Mostly
it is annoying, but even more annoying is that some of it is good.  But 
what's missing for me, and people think I'm just going to be spiteful, but 
there's no sense of urgency, no spark for me like Crimpshrine had.  Not that 
it was just me, mind you, that added that.  I was part of it, and the 
combination of me and Jeff was the other part.  I'd add a lot of lyrics and 
rhythm ideas that seem to be lacking in Fifteen.  But mostly, listening to 
it makes me realize how much I hate him, and the religious references make 
me sick.  On their own besides the religious stuff, they'd be pretty good, 
but the fact that everyone says it's "just like Crimpshrine" bums me out cuz 
it makes me thing they just didn't understand at all.  It will be interesting 
once my new stuff starts coming out, I think people will understand more the 
different aspects that made up Crimpshrine and where they led to.
          (                 )
        DD                   MM
       RR                     UU
       UUU                   SSS
        GGG                 III
         DEAD  X  cDc  X  COWS
          PUNK   ZINES   ROCK
          415-648-PUNK(7865)(BBS now defunct)
Coffee is a Psychedelic Drug.
Some people like their coffee black.  Some people like it loaded up with 
sugar and cream.  I like my coffee black when I'm drinking it with a meal,
but usually I put whole milk in it.
On days that I don't have to work I usually eat a bunch of shit before I go
to bed, then wake up at noon or 1 in the afternoon.  When I wake up, my 
coffee maker has already made a full pot for me to drink.  For the next 4-5
hours I go through cup after cup of coffee with milk in it.  If I were to 
drink it black I wouldn't be getting any nutritional value out of the coffee
and I'd have to eat sooner.  That's the reason I use whole milk instead of
skim or 2% so I can go as long as possible on my coffee buzz.  It also cuts
down on the gnawing acidic feeling in your stomach.  You may not know the
feeling I'm talking about, but if you've gone for an extended time not eating
anything solid while drinking very strong coffee you do.  This is why I say
coffee is a psychedelic drug.  Try it.
(oh, make sure you have something to work on, like a dirty apartment or a 
zine so you don't go crazy)
Other things to try: Put whiskey in your coffee (Reed swears by it)
                     Smoke pot then drink coffee (Try calls it a poor man's
                     Put 1/4 cup of instant coffee in a mug, then add hot
                       water and milk and force it down (know as a Bonus Cup
                       in Descendents circles)
                     Let your coffee cook for a couple days till it's dark
                       and has the appropriate thickness.
Best Coffee Music:  The Birthday Party - Hits
                    Nuisance - Confusion Hill
                    Johnny Cash - Live From Folsom Prison
                    Herb Alpert and Tijuana Brass - Any
Complimentary Seasonings
curry powder*ginger*garlic*black pepper > vegatable stir frys
chili powder*basil*cumin*black pepper > chili, mexican dishes, bean dishes
basil*oregano*garlic*parsley > tomato, egg, cheese and fish dishes
cinnamon*nutmeg*ginger > hot beverages, sweet breads, fruit salad
caraway*dill weed*parsley*black pepper* > cabbage, carrots, potatoes, soups
Police: Family killed dad because he was miserable
Boynton Beach, FLA -- Detectives said a man's family confessed they shot him
to death because he was miserable and grouchy and spent most of his time on
the couch watching television
Mary Grieco, 48, her 15-year-old daughter Ann, and the daughters boyfriend,
Melvin Steele, 19, are charged with conspiracy and first degree murder in
the death of Joe Grieco, 52.  They are in the Palm Beach County jail pending
a March Trial.
According to documents made public last week by the Palm Beach County State's
attorney's Office, the family was under pressure from mounting debts.
Ann Grieco said her father was depressed and cranky all the time.  She said
her parents could not afford a divorce.
They spiked his chicken dinner with LSD and put cocaine in his wine, trying
to prompt a heart attack.  "We tried everything we could think of," Ann
Grieco told police.  Wife Mary crawled into bed with her snoring husband,
clutching a pistol, and shot him in the left temple Aug 9, Police said.
Mother who said teddy bear told her to kill found insane
  Camden, J.J. (AP) -- A woman who told psychiatrists her teddy bear ordered
her to  kill her three sons has been aquitted of attempted murder by reason
of insanity.
  Doris Triplett, 31 had been charged with one count of attempted murder and
three counts of aggrivated assault and child endangerment.  Prosecutors say
she tried to kill her youngest son, 7, by slashing his throat and her older
sons, aged 10 and 14, by giving them overdoses of pills and cold medicine.
  She tried to kill herself after the April 24 attack on her youngest son,
authorities said.
  Superior Court Judge Leon A. Wingate on Tuesday ruled that the woman was 
not guilty of the crimes by reason of insanity.  He scheduled a Feb. 8th
hearing to determine what treatment will be ordered.
 More Hours
 Less Pay
 Get Back To Work!
"Big deal.  Death comes with the territory.  See you at Disneyland."
 - Serial Killer Richard Ramirez, after a jury sentenced him to death for
 the 13 "Nightstalker" murders in Los Angeles
Interview with Poindexter Fortran avid coffee fan:
CB: For those REAL coffee drinkers, how do you go about making the PERFECT
cup of coffee?  How do you store your coffee?  Do you buy the coffee beans 
and refrigerate them and only take out what you need, then grind it?  Or do 
you buy it already ground?
One of the best ways to make coffee is in a press-pot (sometimes called a
French press).  It's a glass carafe that you put the coffee grounds into, add
hot water, and wait a few minutes.  There is a screen on the end of a plunger
that you use to press the coffee to the bottom of the carafe.  It does leave
more sediment than a paper filter but doesn't add or take away any flavors.
For storing coffee, the you should keep a few days worth in an airtight
container at room temperature in a dark place.  You can use a jar, 
Tupperware, or a ziplock bag.  If you have more than a few days worth, you 
can store that in the freezer but you don't want to keep taking the coffee 
in and out of the freezer because moisture will condense on the coffee.  If 
you have a grinder, you should grind the coffee yourself, right before you 
need it.
CB: For those REAL coffee drinkers, how do you go about making the  PERFECT 
cup of coffee?
Use freshly ground coffee, 1 slightly rounded tablespoon per cup, and ice 
cold water in your machine.
CB: How do you store your coffee?
Unground and unrefrigerated in an air-tight container. Coffee, once ground,
begins to lose some of its flavor.  Refrigeration also makes the bean lose 
its flavor.
CB:  Would you at any time, drink coffee that has been sitting on the burner
for more than 30 minutes?
No way!!!!  That is I why I use an Oster machine. With an Oster the coffee 
is kept hot in a thermo-caraffe. A few other machines now use such caraffes.
CB:  For those REAL coffee drinkers, how do you go about making the PERFECT
cup of coffee?
Peet's French Roast and Sumatra (60/40). Water from a Brita filter system.
Paper filter. My beat up old Braun maker.
Kinda like sex in a cup.
Oster is just another brand name.  I'm sure you heard of the Osterizer
(blender).  Anyway, Oster coffee machines work the same way as most others,
except that instead of the coffee dripping from the filter into a regular
glass caraffe on a heated plate, it drops into a thermo-caraffe (basically a
large handled thermos.
The thermo caraffe does an excellent job keeping the coffee hot.  I have 
drank coffee up to 24 hours after it was made with the Oster, and it was 
still piping hot.
Lonely & Sad
Texan Guy is selling
(home-made and nifty).
South Plains AIDS 
Resource Center.
God God God God
sucks so bad.  Write
for a catalog.
Bill's shirt thing
4617 94th St.
Lubbock, TX  79424
 Fun with Bill and Al and Me
     By Bill Dreamwhip
So, it was one of the goddamned BORINGEST fucken weeks i've ever spent
ANYWHERE. GOD! If you gotta go to Little Rock, Arkansas, bring drugs. And
THOSE barely helped.
Anyways, so i was taping the last few days of the governor's campaign for 
the h.q. staff 'cuz i have this goofy/rad pal from college who was 
unemployed and somehow managed to get a job on the clinton staff. Yawn. So, 
i'm spending days and days filming nasty political people answering their 
phones and saying 'Thank Yeeew' in these really cool, thick Arkansan accents. 
Oh, and i was drinking PLENTY of chocolate milk, which was a habit i thought 
i'd broken freshman yr. in college. God, choco-moo is so good. It has a form 
of algae in it...that's what makes it Rich and Thick and Yummy.
Oh, so i finally found a place that made a fucken good latte, so, as the
Endless Days Passed, i'd spend more and more time there, drinking really good
coffee and reading the local paper, and once sorta falling asleep at the
table, which really made the waitress people sad and confused and even scared
'cuz it was a newish place, and wasn't sure yet if it was a "coffeehouse" or 
a "bistro," and didn't really know what to do about a kid in funny clothes 
with a week's stubble who hung out every day and all. I discovered in 
arkansas that i really do have some kinda dandruff problem (the problem is 
i start shedding skin when i neglect to shower for extended periods of time. 
So, Election Day finally fucken came (the whole reason i didn't just up and
go was cuz i wanted to see the Election Thing happen), and it was kinda
raddish. Richard Dreyfus came by the grubby little h.q., and looked really
fucken old and haggard and short. Then stuff got weird. See, i was hanging 
in this office place till clinton passed 270 electoral college votes, then i
decided to wade into the HUGE horrible loud crowd that was out by the old
statehouse, waiting for bill's acceptance speech. Anyway, so there's the
podium in front, then the special section for the Elite/Empowered/Wealthy,
then all these police barriers, then the general spectator gallery, and way
out back was this Press Riser, like this big bleachers, with all these film
crews on it. So my Press pal mananged to sneak me up onto the risers, and i
was kinda looking out over this big ol' crowd. And it was cold as shit. And
people had been waiting for hours and hours, listening to "Born in the USA"
OVER AND OVER AND OVER. The atmosphere was getting kinda nasty. Then this
choir starting singing, and people thought 'ah, at last.' but the choir went
on and on, singing encore after encore of "America the beautiful," and
sounding more nervous each rendition. So, anyways, after a while, i noticed 
in the spectator gallery in front of me there was some shoving. Pretty soon, 
like this whole block of people (mostly young arkansans who looked like the 
type who yell 'faggot' as an insult) were shoving around and yelling, like a 
giant mosh pit. It was INTENSE. and there was this poor newslady trying to 
give an on-the-scene telecast, and she was getting knocked around and looked 
really scared and all. Then, weird weird, i see these two guys in blue suits, 
and they shove thru. the crowd with these big neon-orange bags, which seemed
strange. Then they opened 'em up and started pulling out fucken BILLY CLUBS,
and tossing 'em to some of the cops who were on the sidelines. And then the
cops move in with the clubs, and a few rush over to the press stand i was up
on and started guarding the stairs up, and i'm thinking 'fuck, what if 
there's a RIOT at Bill Clinton's Victory party?  Wow. It was surreal. And 
all this was happening in the weird, flat-white daylight glow of these giant 
spotlights they'd erected over the whole area. So, like, when you looked 
straight up, the sky was totally BLACK, but then your surroundings were lit 
up like daytime.
Anyways, that was pretty fucked. Then bill comes out and says blah blah blah,
and comes back to the press stand and kisses me on the mouth, and i won't go
into the rest for reasons of national security and all. Then i drove home
thru. beautiful and cool north tx., and even went thru. PARIS, timmy, and
passed by the big ass Campbell's Fortress. Wow. Soup IS Good Food.
Whew. So. Details details. And it's all so fucken interesting...
Oh yeah, i don't care if her hubbie's v.p., i still will NEVER forgive 
Tipper for that PMRC bullshit. Whatta fucken idiot.
Reviews of stuff
Please send any records tapes or whatever you would like me to review to 
Cool Beans!  249 Duncan St, San Francisco 94131 
I got a bottle of Batman brand cologne for christmas, I'd have to give it a 
thumbs down, smells too much like Brut. -FP
DEVO-LIVE the MONGOLOID Years CD ***  Rykodisc Pickering Warf Bldg C, Salem, 
Mass 01970 
Before all that silly Oh No It's Devo! and New Traditionalists 
stuff Devo were a seriously (well, maybe not SERIOUSLY) punk band!  This CD 
is a compilation of 3 concerts from 1975, 1976, and 1977.  It's amazing to 
hear this band back when they would be making so much noise, and provoking 
their audience into fights.  It's pretty amazing to hear these guys when 
they were really crazy.  I think this was before they decided they wanted to 
be "bigger than McDonalds".  It's much more fun than Jerkin' Back and Forth 
anyway. -Matt
DIS-Ed Was Solace b/w Girl Song 7" ****1/2  12Inch Records Po Box Box 4083 
Urbana, IL 61801
This was the first promo record I received so first I'd like to thank Rob of
Dis for sending it to me.  Second I'd like to say THANK YOU FOR SENDING IT 
TO ME! IT'S GREAT!  If *I* were in a band, I'd want it to sound like THIS.  
My first impression was, "yeah, I hear some Slint in this" then "Yup, Albini 
sure produced this", then "Wow, this is great stuff!"  It's slow, but 
powerful.  Lots of thick guitar, but the effects aren't overdone.  I can't 
wait to get DIS's CD which is also available on 12Inch Records.  The only 
negative thing I really have to say about this single is that at times it 
suffers from hiss.  I'm not sure if it's my pressing or if it's tape hiss 
from before the record was pressed.  It doesn't really detract from the 
record though. -Matt
FOOD-cassette PO BOX 53832, Lubbock, TX  79453
This is a pretty special tape.  It's got cool sometimes minimalistic, 
sometimes busy songs with interesting lyrics.  It's lacking a track listing, 
but you can pretty much figure out which songs are which (like say the song 
about Gamera) and you may find yourself (like I did) putting this on when 
you can't really figure out what you want to listen to, then wake up in the 
middle of the night singing some of these songs about losing it.  [see me as 
TV written by the singer/lyricist of FOOD]
A good snack-type thing to do: get 4 Ritz crackers and a slice of American 
cheese.  You split the cheese into 4 pieces and eat a piece with a cracker.  
See, it's pretty complicated, but each piece of cheese corresponds to a Ritz 
cracker.  It'll make sense if you try it.  Gosh. 
HAZEL-Jilted b/w Truly 7" ****  Subpop Records
This band took me by surprise at the anti-flannel and grunge Subpop show in 
SF a couple months back.  They were first on the bill (also on the bill Pond, 
Fastbacks and Velocity Girl) and didn't really catch my attention till I 
realized there was some guy with long hair just sort of wandering around on 
stage while the band ignored him as if he were invisible.  He walked around 
mocking, but not touching the 3 musicians that comprised Hazel.  Then 
occasionally he'd have a fit of some sort and start dancing.  After watching 
him for a few minutes I found myself really enjoying Hazel's music.  They did 
a full set of sorta poppy sorta grungey, very catchy songs.  I was most 
impressed.  So I grabbed this at Mod Lang took it home and it quickly became 
one of my favorite singles.  The vocals are split between the male guitar 
player and the female drummer and together they harmonize wonderfully!  
Hazel has what so many other bands are lacking and could use.  If I could 
put my finger on exactly what that is, I'd tell you.  But instead I'll just 
tell you to go grab this single and look for future releases by Hazel on 
Subpop. -Matt
Subject      : where am i?
Here's my review of hospital food: it sucks, don't eat it. and even if you ask for 7up or whatever, they'll bring you caffeine-free, lemon-lime Shasta.  and 1/2 a can at that. IV tape sucks, too, especially when they rip it off yer skin and all your arm-hai
Well, I have been sampling some of the new flavors, and the results are in:
Haagen-Dasz Triple Brownie Overload:too similar to B&J's NY Super FudgeChunk.
Haagen-Dasz Cappucino Commotion: interesting little number, pretty tasty.
Ben and Jerry's Wild Maine Blueberry: this is a mistake, the blueberries are 
frozen and very weird.
- Erik
This really does remove stains. It removed some blood stains from my
bed quite nicely. Don't ask me how they got there. (I know, but I'm not 
talking) -Troy
MOONSHAKE-Eva Luna CD ****1/2  too pure po box 1944 London NW10 5PJ 
This album just BLEW me away.  I picked up the 2nd Hand Clothes CD5 a few 
months earlier but I wasn't prepared for how powerful the rhythms and lyrics 
and samples and guitar were going to be on this!  Moonshake alternate between 
a male singer and a more shoe-gazier sounding female singer.  The drums march 
along in the background while layers and layers of guitar and samples tease 
and then smash the listener.  This may be the album of the year for me.  I 
don't know when and if it will be available domestically, but it's worth 
paying the high cost of an import.  On a final note, while listening to this 
record for the first time I realized that my stereo speakers weren't set up 
in the right place.  So I spent the next 1/2 hour figuring out where to put 
them so the Moonshake CD would sound it's very best.  This record has ruled 
my life for months now. - Matt
MULE-CD ***1/2  Quarter Stick P.O. Box 25342 Chicago, IL 60625
You may know the rhythm section of this band as being the Rhythm section for 
the Laughing Hyenas.  Along with a guy from a band called Wig (also from 
Michigan) this band plays a really tight and harsh combination of country 
and guitar rock. I much prefer Kevin and PW's voices over John Brannon's any 
day.  I saw them play live at the Kennel Club a month or so ago and their 
live performance rates even higher on my scale than this record.  There are 
two singles available too. I'm Hell and Tennessee Hustler.  All Mule is 
recommended.  Especially live. - Matt
NUISANCE-Confusion Hill CD ***1/2  Lookout! Records PO Box 11374  Berkeley, 
CA  94701
This isn't a new CD, as a matter of fact I think they have a new CD available 
this week.  But I haven't picked that up yet.  This, Like Mule also has a 
guitar rock, country feel to it.  Nuisance kind of sound like a combination 
of Squirrel Bait and Loop.  The only reason I compare them at all to Loop is 
because they do this sort of really repetitive rhythm thing that mutates and 
then suddenly changes tempo and suddenly it's like being jerked in several 
directions at once.  The Squirrel Bait comparison is because other than the 
rhythm craziness, they sound a lot like SB.  And that's GREAT!  Again, 
Nuisance live is so much better than Nuisance in the studio, but this album 
is not a dissapointment at all.  With topics like nicotine, broken vans, pot 
(they're from Humboldt County I believe) and of course girls (they are a 
Lookout! band after all..) they score big points.  This album is far better 
than any of their compilation tracks or singles.  Oh, and they don't sound 
ANYTHING like Green Day or Crimpshrine.     - Matt
PAVEMENT-Westing (By Musket and Saxton) CD **** Drag City Records
This is the reissue of all the Pavement tracks that were released as singles 
and on compilations.  I think it's all of them, but since I'm fairly new the 
Pavement groove, I won't try to sound like an authority.  This is a record 
that came highly recommended from several people, and they were right.  I've 
spent (woah...I'm writing this review and suddenly Pavement comes on the 
radio...COSMIC!) much of my time for the last few days listening to this CD 
over and over on random.  These guys know what it means to make beautiful 
noise.  The songs are simple, yet engaging and the noise is just right for 
my ears.  It's wonderful.
A review of  MY SURGERY:
Subject: groove on life...groove on VICODIN.
Only about an hour spent on my tummy. huge wonderful electric shocks through 
my body, silly jokes made by mr. surgeon guy...interesting forms of pain. 
Only a not-so-strong local anesthetic. Wonderful!!! Love it tons. Got to see 
the tumor they removed afterwards--the LOVELIEST. only drawback: I couldn't 
keep my tumor. [they had to send it in to pathology.] but shit...and now i 
equal on nice superstrong vicodin., i'd give it an "A" Like stee, moanin 
ludlow. - Steve
Swirlies-****1/2 What to do About Them CDep
Imagine that Ride suddenly got a lot smoother and bassier.  Imagine that My 
Bloody Valentine have singers you can actually hear because they are not 
buried in fuzz.  Imagine that everything about what makes you like this kind 
of music was a rubber band and that you could pluck it and "real slow like" 
you could just be a rubber band with it..and you could both flex and bend 
and roll around.  Ok, you're listening to the first Swirlies ep on Taang and 
you realize that you are enjoying this more than the major label fuzz 
bands...and they don't have the same budget..and they are amazing.  Well, I 
think you'd better go buy it.  Has more surface noise than any of my vinyl 
records. you'd better go buy it. - Matt
Swirlies- CDep**  Taang! also...
Boy, what a let down.  I was expecting this to just rule the whole world.  
But it didn't move me much at all.  It's not nearly as cool as the first 
cdep thing.  I guess they are getting to be better musicians or something, 
but really they just sound more like Sonic Youth.  There is a little bit of 
Sebadoh influence evident here, but it doesn't quite work right.  I dunno, 
what can I say?  I'm just depressed cause my hopes were too high.  It's not 
a bad record or anything, just not the god blow that I was hoping for.         - Matt
[you may have noticed that I mostly only reviewed stuff I really liked.  
Well, this is the first issue and I had all the records ever released to 
choose from, so I decided to just focus on the ones released semi-recently 
that I've been listening to a lot.-Matt]
Other Zines and stuff
 No Duh!  $2 to 2 Aldie St, Allston, Massechusetts
 Mudflap  $1 plus 2 29cent stamps to (new address again) 
 2629 19th st, SF, CA 94110
 Mole  $3 Box 5033, Herndon, VA 22070
 Nice Slacks  $3 PO box 476659, Chicago, IL, 60647
 Shampoop  $2 Blake c/o Matt 249 Duncan, SF, CA 94131
 Dirty Plotte Comic  $?  Drawn and Quarterly 4550 Boyer St, Montreal, 
                           Quebec, Canada H2J-3E4
 Peepshow Comic  $?  Drawn And Quarterly
 American Manure  $1 (small but fun) PO box 20294, Oakland, CA  94620
 Rollerderby  $2.50 Lisa Carver c/o Seymour Glass, PO box 424762, SF, CA
 Meatcake/Darcy Megan  $lots of money$  Meatcake c/o Tedium House same PO
                    box as Rollerderby
You are the new coffee generation...
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