Hello to all the people at Cool Beans,
Hi- My name is Melissa and I'm with a label in Urbana, IL. I read a review of your zine in Punk Planet #15. I have enclosed an ad which I would appreciate if you ran if you run ads for free. Please send me information on your zine circulation. We currently only have a few copies that we can give away as promo releases, but if you send us a copy of your most recent issue, we'll see what we can do. Alrighty, Thank you very much and take care.
P.O. Box 851 Urbana, IL 61803-0851
I want to trade my comics/zines with you. I'm for real! Send me your zine /comic and I'll send you mine! I'll also plug you for free in my books!!
1552 E 34th St
Brooklyn, NY 11234
Dear Cool Beans;
I have a new record label and would like to run ads in your fine, fine publication (rag?). Please send me a sample copy of your zine, that would be great.
It ain't easy being green,
P.O. Box 220994
Newhall, CA 91321
You You You You You You You You!
I'm going nuts for boredom. Please send me a VCR & cab fare.
3010 Hennipen Ave 5
MPLS, MN 55408
I want your zine and I really don't care
if it's good or it's bad or in between somewhere
`cause my crippling shyness makes it too hard to talk
and make friends with people in my daily walk
but at the computer I'm sharp and I'm witty
(and for all that you know, I might even be pretty)
and I crank out a zine every quarter or so
and I just want to trade, so please don't tell me "no"
you can get my zine only through the magic of trade
`cause it's a labor of love for which I should not get paid
so send a zine or a mixed tape to Projecta's Casket
(or a book of recipes, or a hand-woven basket)
UCSC, Santa Cruz, CA 95064
The enclosed has been damaged in handling in the Postal Service.
We realize your mail is important to you and you have every right to expect it to be delivered intact and in good to fair condition. The Postal Service often makes every effort to properly handle the mail entrusted to it but, due to the large volume, occasional damage will occur.
When a Post Office handles in excess of 8 million pieces of mail daily, it is imperative that mechanical methods be used to maintain production and ensure prompt delivery of the mails. It is also a fact that modern production methods do not permit personal attention to individual pieces of mail. Damage can occur if mail is insecurely enveloped or bulky contents are enclosed. When this occurs and our machinery is jammed, it often causes damage to other mail that was properly prepared, and we take it out on your packages, drop-kicking them and hiding them behind stuff. Hey, it's better than showing up one day with a nine looking for some payback, right?
We are constantly claiming improvements to our processing methods to justify our frequent rate increases, but the surprising truth is, we don't give a flying fuck about your mail. We've had a good laugh at your concern over the handling of your mail and sincerely regret the inconvenience you have experienced.
p.s. please send more fruitcake and tequila, and
remember that we only accept demos on TDK SA90s.