Queen Cobra

No drummer-So what?!

This interview took place while walking from the Chameleon where they played a show, to L.S.'s apartment on Sycamore Street and back. A walk of about 5 blocks round trip. -Matt

CB: How long ago did you guys start the band?

The Empress: In theory or in practice?

CB: Both.

Empress: In theory last summer, in practice this January.

CB: What took you so long?

Empress: We didn't have a place to play we were working too much.

L.S. Defunkt: We were both too tweeky at the time.

CB: You couldn't get anything done?

LS: I don't know, I was recovering. I was in healing so I couldn't get anything done except rent a lot of movies and work every day.

Empress: We were working in that horrible closed environment at 290-C Napoleon.

LS: Actually looking back to a year ago, things are a lot better now.

Empress: We finally got our shit together.

CB: So this is your first interview right? Let's go with the cliche questions. Who are your influences?

Both: [Laughter]

LS: When I was younger it was John Brannon from Negative Approach.

CB: That's a good answer, I can hear that in your singing.

The Empress: And of course the obvious ones, the Real Kids and David Bowie.

CB: Is that obvious?

The Empress: We do covers.

CB: Oh, oh.

LS: Some French dude, Jacques Brel wrote it, but David Bowie performed it.

CB: What about the Misfits? Are you heavily influenced by the Misfits? I hear you're really tight with them.

Empress: I am!

LS: She is. I've never seen them.

CB: My theory is that as soon as they hear your band they'll take you out on the road with them. As soon as they're done with this tour with... Megadeth I think?

Empress: That'll be great! Opening for the Misfits. As soon as they hear our "Hollywood Blood Capsules" song.

CB: What other bands have you been in?

Empress: Presently I play in M. Alice Foster and Sven

Erik as well as Queen Cobra and in the past she played with...

LS: I sang for Tallow, and now they are Towel and they are really awesome, dude, bra.

CB: How come they weren't awesome when you were in the band?

LS: Oh no, we were good. We just couldn't get our shit together. We were all fucked up. We were all fucked up in different ways.

CB: Did you play bass in that band?

LS: We were a really heavy, heavy.. I can't explain music.

Empress: Melvins.

[We were about halfway back to the Chameleon at this point, and some rocker guy passing us on the street asks the two of them if they are going down to the show.]

CB: Weren't they at the show?

LS: Yeah, they just watched us play...

CB: And didn't even recognize you.

LS: He's in Old Grandad!

Empress: We were their opening band!

LS: He thought I was just like some girl going "Hey, how ya doin'?"

Empress: That's the most fun about being the `girl band' opening for all the boy bands. They just treat you like you're some stupid groupie.

CB: Oh yeah, that reminds me, where did you meet your drummer?

Empress: Oh yeah, Bertha Moon, that's our drummer. She's friends with L.S.'s old bandmate, Noah. We stole her from Noah.

LS: She cost forty bucks.

Empress: So it wasn't really a steal. Actually, it was a steal, she's a great drummer!

CB: She doesn't lose any time.

Empress: I know, she's awesome! She's been playing for like 25 years, and she's 27.

CB: What else should your fans know?

LS: I love W.C. Fields. I don't want to do this anymore.